The Subconscious
by the elsinatr
Summary: The mind is a curious thing. It can heal all wounds, or it can strengthen hatred. Sasuke and Itachi are both suffering posttraumatic stress from the Uchiha massacre, but with it comes a new set of problems for them. Can they put aside the past?
1. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

**A/N: ENJOY! (yeah, I know this one's emoish, don't remind me)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto....Kishi-sensei does!**

**Posttraumatic Stress Disorder**

_Posttraumatic Stress Disorder:(1)_

_**Posttraumatic stress disorder** (**PTSD**) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to one or more traumatic events that threatened or caused grave physical harm. PTSD affects over 7.8 million people._

_It is a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme psychological trauma. This stressor may involve someone's actual death, a threat to the patient's or someone else's life, serious physical injury, an unwanted sexual act, or a threat to physical or psychological integrity, overwhelming psychological defenses._

_In some cases it can also be from profound psychological and emotional trauma, apart from any actual physical harm. Often, however, incidents involving both things are found to be the cause._

* * *

Uchiha Itachi glumly stared through the window. Being a man of little emotions, the moodiness displayed on his face was barely recognizable.

He wondered what was going on in Konoha.

It had been five years since he left his hometown. Ever since the "incident", everyone thought he just disappeared. Everyone except the elders and Sandaime.

He turned from the window and continued to finish his letter.

**August 13th, 1991 **

**Sarutobi Hiruzen,**

**I have successfully completed out your mission, with little trouble. Having penetrated the Akatsuki lair, I have now been assigned with Hoshigaki Kisame of the Land of the Waves. I shall be sending weekly reports on my investigation of this organization.**

**I shall be seeing you soon,**

**ANBU Codename: Weasel(173849)**

Itachi looked up from his letter. He rolled it up and sealed it using his chakra. It will only be for Sandaime's eyes.

He returned to looking out the window. As the sun went down, he saw some birds flying south. In his opinion, they were lucky.

Sometimes he wished he was as free as them. That way, he could fly away from his problems.

But he was a practical man, and such things do not exist.

He got dressed for bed and took his medicine.

It was only a habit for him to look as though he was going to sleep.

Pulling up the covers, he waited. It was only a matter of time before the nightmares came back.

* * *

_Sasuke ran through the Uchiha district. Suddenly he saw a figure on top of a telephone pole._

_'Who was that?' he thought. Suddenly he remembered where he was going. _

_Opening the door of the main house, he ran throught the street._

_And saw the scene._

_Bodies. A lot of bodies. All of them were Uchihas._

_'What happened here?' Sasuke was getting more scared by the minute. He turned to his house, sprinting down the street, tripping over bodies._

_"Sasuke, don't come in!" _

_"Mother? Father?" Sasuke tried to blink away some tears. 'Open the door, open the door...' those words were plastered in his mind like a mantra._

_Trembling ever so slightly, he opened the door._

_"Father, Mother!!!!" he screamed. 'oh no, OH NO!! THEY'RE DEAD!' Sasuke looked around frantically._

_In front of him was his older brother, Itachi._

_"Nii-chan, we need to get help." He suddenly felt pain on the side of his arm._

_"Foolish little brother." His brother had thrown a kunai to close the door._

_Sasuke couldn't believe it! His own nii-chan...did this?_

_"You're not okay in the head, nii-chan. W-would you do something like this? WHY??" Sasuke felt decieved and desperate._

_"To test my mettle..."_

_"DON'T GIVE ME THAT!! SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!" he rushed at his brother._

_Itachi looked into his brother's eyes._

_He saw pain and hate in them now. Nothing could ever repair it._

_He revealed his Mangekyo sharingan._

_"For the next forty-eight hours, you will feel true pain..."_

_"NO! ITACHI! STOP!.....MOM! DAD!....STOP! HELP! NII-CHAN! AAAGGGGGGHHH!" Sasuke's screams echoed through the whole house._

_Finally Itachi stopped. Sasuke panted heavily, and fell right beside his dead father._

_'Itachi did this? This isn't right!' Sasuke looked up at his brother. 'I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!'_

_"Don't k-kill me!" he screamed as he ran out the door._

_They chased each other to the outskirts of the Uchiha compound._

_Finally, Sasuke stopped. Itachi was facing him._

_"You're not even worth killing, Sasuke-otouto. Live and hate me, like the coward you are. Only when you possess my eyes will you see me again."_

_Sasuke started to fall. He looked at his brother again._

_'I-Is he...crying?" that was the last thoughts before Sasuke fell into a coma._

"ARGH!" Itachi woke up, sweating from the dream. That was it. He had enough.

He put on his Akatsuki robe and ran to Kisame's room.

* * *

Somewhere in Konoha, a young man with midnight eyes, around the age of twelve woke up to the exact same dream.

Frowning, he tugged at the back of his messy hair. He looked at his alarm clock. It read 5:30 pm.

"Well, I'd better start training now that I'm up."

* * *

"What the hell, Itachi?? It's 3:30 in the morning!"

"Exactly. We are going to capture the jinchuuriki today."

"AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING?? Ya gotta be kiddin' me!"

Itachi gave him a death glare.

"All right, all right. Which jinchuuriki again?"

"The nine-tailed fox."

* * *

"YAY! Mission, mission, mission!" yelled Naruto. "Where to now, ero-sennin?"

"I wish you'd stop calling me that." grumbled Jiraiya. _He's just like Yondaime-san when he was younger._

"We're going to the outskirts of Konoha for some training!"

"YAYAYAYAYAYAY!" Naruto did some weird dance/running around type of movement.

_Oh Kami, do I have to endure this the whole time?_

Itachi and Kisame looked over Konoha. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."

"Whatever, dude."

They jumped down and scanned the area.

"You go left, and I'll go right." They split up.

"HEY YOU THERE!" yelled a jonin. Itachi threw a paper bomb at the man. He exploded.

'sigh, cruel but efficient.' Another soul to torment him.

He headed towards the training grounds.

* * *

"Hinata? What're you doing here?" asked Sasuke.

The Hyuuga girl turned around and her face changed into different colors of red. "I-I'm t-t-training..."

"I see. Do you want to train together?"

She nodded shyly.

Sasuke didn't mind Hinata's company, because she wasn't as loud or obnoxious as other girls he knew. He knew that she wasn't part of his fanclub, because most of the girls in his fanclub were either annoyingly hyper or insanely talkative. Hyuuga Hinata was definitely not the talkative type. Being a shy girl, Hinata was the type who mostly kept to herself. Sometimes, when Sasuke would walk to the training grounds, he would see Hinata sitting in the Hyuuga garden, singing to the flowers. The mere thought of her confused himself.

And yet, here he was, training with her.

For five minutes, they danced a dangerous dance of kunai and shuriken.

Hinata activated her byakugan. Seeing this, Sasuke also activated his sharingan.

The Uchiha could see her movements, yet Hinata could see his pressure points.

In a matter of seconds, the Uchiha had mimicked her moves, but Hinata had pressed more than 20 of his tenketsu.

"Why don't we call it quits?" he said after a while. _I should train more with Hinata-chan. I've had more of a workout than training with the dobe._

Hinata nodded. As she started to pack up, she heard a rustling noise.

"Wait a sec, Sasuke-san." She scanned the area quickly with her byakugan.

Someone was lurking in the bushes. Pulling out a kunai, she pounced onto the intruder.

It was only a rabbit. _Phew, I thought it was something more dangerous._ She put away her kunai, only to find herself face-to-face with a pair of shining, red eyes.

"HINATA! ARE YOU OKAY??" yelled Sasuke.

"U-uchiha...I-Itachi?" she whispered. Itachi looked at her.

She had short hair, with small bangs on her head. Her jacket was half-open. She was at least a foot smaller than Itachi.

Hinata gaped at Itachi. _Hn. She looks so innocent._

He smirked. Konoha was definitely going to be interesting.

* * *

A/N: REVIEW......AND READ! By the way, this fic just entirely came out of my head. You like?

(1) _(citation: __.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder__)_


	2. Phobia

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**A/N: I'm updating this fic every Monday, so keep your eyes peeled...**

**Phobia**

_Phobia_

_A __**phobia**__ (from the Greek: φόβος, phóbos, "fear"), or __**morbid fear**__, is an irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. When the fear is beyond one's control, or if the fear is interfering with daily life, then a diagnosis under one of the anxiety disorders can be made.[1]_

**Itachi's POV**

The girl quickly stumbled out of the clearing.

"Hinata-chan! Are you okay?" asked Sasuke. He knelt next to Hinata, who was breathing heavily.

_Hinata-chan? What a lovely name..._

I looked into her pearly-orbed eyes, and I almost lost myself in them. The only way I was able to wrench myself from that deadly gaze was to focus on the situation at hand.

"Foolish brother." I stepped out of the clearing. He turned around in a flash, covering Hinata with his body.

Grabbing a kunai, he said, "You won't dare touch Hinata-chan, not while I'm here."

I smirked. "Wouldn't dream of it. I'm here for the Kyuubi."

The color drained from Sasuke's face. "WHAT??"

"Talking to you is a waste of time. I'm leaving." I disappeared in a flash of smoke.

**End Of Itachi POV**

---------------

Hinata looked around. "Where am I?" she asked.

Sasuke suddenly appeared, startling her. "We're in the training grounds."

"Wh-who was that-"

"That person is someone who isn't related to me, do you hear?" enraged, Sasuke grabbed Hinata by the collar, frightening the poor girl.

Realizing what he was doing, he immediately let go of Hinata. He struggled for a minute, then plonked himself down on one of the boulders near the clearing.

"Are you okay, Uchiha-san?" Hinata asked, sitting on a boulder nearest to Sasuke.

He didn't answer. For fifteen minutes they just sat there, staring into space.

Finally Hinata couldn't take it anymore. "Sasuke-san, I'll leave you to your thinking."

As she got up, Sasuke quickly grabbed the sleeve of her hoodie. "Don't leave." he pleaded.

"Okay," she said, looking at his face. He looked troubled. The young boy had the classic pensive Uchiha look, but he was shivering, even though it was summer.

Hinata stared at him closely. "U-uchiha-san, I-I know s-something's tr-troubling you, so c-could you p-please t-tell me about it? You d-don't have to i-if you don't w-want to."

Sasuke turned around to meet her eyes. "Do you know anything about pain, or hurt?" he asked.

Hinata pressed her fingers together and looked down at her feet.

"I thought so." said Sasuke with a hint of venom in his voice.

As he turned to leave, he heard Hinata speak.

"Y-yes, Uchiha-san, I-I do."

Rage coursing in his veins, he whirled around and aimed a kick at her face. She easily blocked it due to their vigorous training earlier.

"You're n-not the only one who understands pain, Sasuke-san." She looked angry.

_What does she know about pain, _he thought. _I've always thought of Hinata-chan as the silent type, rarely talking to anyone...I guess I'm wrong. _He sat down once again.

"So let's just say you understand what I'm going through. What makes you say that?"

Hinata stared coldly at him. Sasuke was taken aback.

"I'm th-the heiress t-to the Hyuuga c-clan. You think that I g-get it easy? E-every time I t-train, it's either l-life or d-death. Otou-san n-never goes easy o-on me."

_Figures, Hiashi-sama was never one to let his emotions get in the way of his pride..._

"You th-think that your l-life is b-bad? D'you kn-know wh-why I wear this j-jacket?" she asked.

She turned her back to him and took her jacket off. She was wearing a v-necked shirt, and as she turned around to face him, the Uchiha saw it.

She had scars everywhere, and it looked as though her arms had been broken more than twice in her life. Her arms and torso were covered with battle scars, most of them looked recent. Hinata looked at him anxiously, waiting for him to say something.

Sasuke was speechless.

"And why are you showing this to me?" he asked stupidly.

Hinata realized what she was doing. "A-ano, I gotta go..." she muttered, and dashed off, as fast as her legs could carry her.

----------------

Kisame Hoshigaki stood in front of a rundown hotel. "Where's Itachi?" he growled under his breath. People were staring at him and making fishy faces.

"If Itachi doesn't show up soon, I'm gonna have to kill everyone-" Itachi appeared in front of him.

"BAKA!" he yelled. The Uchiha flashed the mangekyo in warning.

Kisame sweatdropped. "Okay, okay. Let's just finish this."

They entered into the dark and faded hotel, cloaks rippling behind them.

----------------

Sasuke didn't move for a long time after Hinata left. He stared at the sunset, watching the birds flying off due to the cooling temperature. Brushing himself off, he started to walk to his house, hands in his pockets.

As he was walking down the main street of Konoha, he heard a high-pitch voice shrieking in the distance.

"SASUKE-KUUUUUUN!" It was Sakura. Sasuke groaned.

"How are you, Sasuke-kun? I didn't see you the whole day! Of course, it's only a saturday so I didn't expect anything much, but still, you weren't anywhere! Where have you been? Anyway, Ino and I have been wond-"

"Sakura," he growled, activating his sharingan. Red eyes stared down green. "Leave me alone for once."

He brought his hand to the back of her head, and Sakura fell to the ground unconscious.

---------------

As soon as she entered her room, Hinata collapsed on her bed.

"Sasuke-san...something must be bothering you. You haven't told me the whole thing." she muttered.

_Something must have caused Sasuke-san to change...It's as if he's scared of Itachi-san..._ she thought, wondering about the whole ordeal.

Rolling over so that she was facing her window, she lifted herself off of the bed and approached her bedroom window. The sunset was a deep orange and red, and it was awe-inspiring. _So many colors, so many layers and shades._ Far off into the distance, an eagle was swooping over the Konoha treetops, searching for a common field mouse to prey on. She smiled sadly at the predator, wishing that she was as free as a bird. The light cotton-candy clouds gave the impression that the sky was floating, and Hinata never saw such beauty in her life.

_I wish..._she sighed. _That Sasuke-san would be able to see as much color in his life as I do..._

Turning from the windowsill, she got ready for the sunset to dissipate into night.

------------------------

Sasuke opened the door of his dimly lit apartment, scowling at his furniture. He took off his hetai-ate and laid it on the counter top.

Looking around the place, he thought to himself about what he was going to have for dinner.

Giving up after searching for something edible in his pantry, he sat down on his couch and before he knew it, fell into a light and troubled sleep.

--------------------

OKAY I HAVE A LOT OF HOMEWORK AND EXAMS, so yeah don't come to my house with torches or anything because of the short chappie (lol got that habit from BloodxKanji-chan!)

READ AND REVIEW!

_http:///wiki/Phobia [1]_


	3. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N.: There is swearing! So all you gakis and innocent eared people, don't read the yucko parts!kukuku.... oh and Hanabi's OC! XD

**Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder**

_OCD_

_**Obsessive-compulsive disorder**__ (__**OCD**__) is a human anxiety disorder characterized by involuntary intrusive thoughts. When a sufferer begins to acknowledge these intrusive thoughts, the sufferer then develops anxiety based on the dread that something bad will happen. The sufferer feels compelled to voluntarily perform irrational, time-consuming behaviors to diminish the anxiety. [1]_

"Hinata-nii-chan!" an hyperactive eight-year-old girl yelled happily, bounding across the bedroom. All of a sudden, she tripped over a random book and fell, spraining her ankle.

"Huh, Hanabi-chan?" Hinata sat up from her bed quite suddenly. "Are you okay?"

Hanabi was on the floor, clutching at her foot and swearing at the top of her lungs. Neji, Hinata's older cousin, came running into the room.

He stopped when he saw the sight. "Hanabi-san! Stop causing such a racket!"

"I wouldn't be," she gritted through her teeth, "if Father would only let us learn medical jutsu!"

"Fair point," Neji admitted, "but you'll need at least a hundred points to prove to Hiashi-sama that you need to learn it." He grabbed Hanabi's arms, and stirred her onto her feet. "Let's get out."

Hanabi limped out of the room, but turned around to face her older sister. "Oh, I forgot," she took out a scroll from her pajama pocket. "It's for you." she explained, wiggling her eyebrows and grinning like a cheshire cat.

Neji grimaced at Hinata before herding his youngest cousin out of Hinata's sight.

Hinata unfolded the scroll and began to read:

_Hinata-chan,_

_I was thinking about what you said yesterday, and I would like to apologize. _

_I really never stopped to look around me before, and what you said to me made me rethink what I do._

_Would you like to spar with me today? I'll be at training ground no.8 at around 9 am._

_~Uchiha Sasuke_

"ok..." she snuck a glance at the clock. It read 9:05.

"Oh kami! I'm late!" She grabbed some clothes and rushed out the door.

------------------------

"This is the place?" Itachi looked at the hotel they were staying in. It was certainly not a five-star hotel, at the very least. "You sure you couldn't find anything else?"

"Yes, dammit." Kisame stared at his partner in disgust. "Stop being such a hime [2]."

"Shut up." Itachi grunted. "Why are we in this criminal organization anyways?"

The blue-skinned man laughed. It felt metallic and noisy to Itachi's ears.

"Because you got beaten up by Pein. And because you beat me up."

"*sigh*. Let's go in, imbecile."

------------------------

"Where is she?" Uchiha Sasuke kicked at a rock, sending it sprawling across the dusty ground.

A midnight blue-haired girl rushed past him. "Hey, Hinata!" Sasuke ran in front of her.

"I'm not Hinata, punk. She just _happens_ to be my sister." A scowling eight-year-old looked at him harshly. Every feature of hers was like Hinata, yet her hair and her height wasn't the same.

Someone in the distance called out her name. "Hanabi-san!"

"Oh, shit. Get out of my way, ja-ku [3]!" Hanabi pushed Sasuke, making him fall into a bush. "Leave me alone, Neji!" she cried.

An equally pissed Neji whizzed by Sasuke, oblivious to the fact that the Uchiha was there. "Hanabi! You have to train! Hiashi-sama said so!"

"I don't care about Father! He can go stick his shitty training into his shitty ass!"

"Watch your mouth, Hanabi! I don't think he tolerates your language!"

"Tolerates? He hardly fucking tolerates anything, pansy!"

"Gaki!"

Their voices grew softer by each tantrum and curse they yelled at each other.

"Sasuke-san?" At the voice, Sasuke got up from the bush, swivelled on the spot and promptly fell on his behind.

Hinata had been terrified of being late that morning that she forgot her usual jacket. She was wearing a light blue one instead. Sasuke gave up trying to stand up, and instead sat down, scowling at the dirt floor.

"Was that your sister?"

"Yeah. She's a-at a stage wh-where she sw-swears a lot." Hinata put her fingers together.

There it was. The stuttering. Sasuke wondered why it never pissed him off before.

"Hinata?"

"Y-yes?"

"Please stop stuttering. It's irritating."

"S-sorry."

"Stop stuttering!"

"O-okay!"

"What the hell. Hinata, just stop stuttering!"

Hinata frowned at him. "This isn't about my stuttering, is it?"

"There! You stopped stuttering!"

------------------------

"Hey, Kisame."

"What?!" Kisame was currently sleeping in his room, with only his Samehada to cover his grotesque blue body.

"Isn't that the nine-tails kid we're looking for?" Itachi was looking out the window, people-watching.

"What?" The mist ninja got up from the bed and looked out the window. "It is!!" A kid in an orange jumpsuit was running around a long white-haired old guy.

In the meantime, Itachi had a memorable view of Kisame. "Put some clothes on, imbecile!"

"Whatever, hime." Kisame disappeared, and in a flash, was donning the full Akatsuki gear.

Itachi rolled his eyes and ran out the door, with Kisame following him.

------------------------

1. _.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder_, June 13, 2009

2. Hime : Princess

3. Ja-ku : Jerk

Sasuke's being ocd with Hinata's stutter. Just a clarification! LOL KISAME CALLS ITACHI PRINCESS!

Sorry about the worthlessness of this chapter.

REVIEW!!!!


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